The last typography post... I promise

I did it.

I dropped Typography. As of 11:15 a.m. today, I am a free woman.

Surprisingly, Bruce was incredibly non-threatening. I was waiting by his office this morning for him to sign my paper, and at first when he saw my drop slip, he acted angry. After I explained my situation, he said he completely understood and that he'd enjoyed having me in class. Aw. He also told me not to be a stranger and that he'd tell me when The Echo looks horrible. I told him he just better.

After turning in my form to the registrar, I stepped out into the sun with a new spring in my step. This isn't an ending, it's a beginning. It's a chance to do my best work ever without burning out. It's also a chance to enjoy life and enjoy the people God has so graciously put in my life. "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."

WP

Withdrawn/Passing. My new best friend.

This semester has had a lot of registration firsts for me. I dropped/added for the first time in September. Now I'm dropping Typography (as I've already made perfectly clear on this blog. I just have to keep repeating it in my head to remind myself it is really happening).

In a few hours, my transcript will read WP. As scary as that sounds, I've decided it's not so bad. If I ever have to explain it, I'll be happy to. At least it's not a WF (withdrawn/failing).

I worry I won't have enough credits to get off campus housing next year, but if I don't, Margaret and I will move to Swallow (which could potentially rock). The off campus info meeting is tonight, so I'll find out how probable my plan is then.

Sorry this is another registration post. What can I say, it's the most bloggable event I've experienced today.

Addicted to Chocolat

Let's be honest, most of the movies I've seen lately have been duds, just not worth blogging about. Then this afternoon I joined Margaret and the girls for a viewing of Chocolat. It was delicious.

A woman (Juliette Binoche) and her daughter move to a small French village and open a chocolate shop in the middle of Lent. Her disregard for weekly Mass and decadently "sinful" candies shake up the strict morality of the little village.

First off, it's impossible to watch this movie without a bag of M&Ms beside you. Fortunately, Tamara had given me a bag last Thursday night. It pays to be prepared.

The film itself is a feast for the senses. Binoche's character stands out in bright reds against the dingy browns and greys of the village. The characters range from sweet to insane while themes vary from love to death to religion.

Johnny Depp's performance left me a little cold. His "river rat" role seemed strangely reminiscent of Jack Sparrow (although this movie pre-dates Pirates of the Caribbean by three years).

Besides one flat performance, the acting is pretty flawless. The commentary on legalistic Christianity is also startlingly realistic. It's the perfect Sunday-afternoon-sit-back-and-crochet movie. 7/10

So this is happiness.

Apparently, I haven't been happy in ages. One of the freshmen told me this weekend was the first time she'd ever "seen me happy." Well, I suppose I had reason to be.

After a week of struggling to keep my head above water, I decided to let go of three credit hours. I'm taking my life back. Lately, I've been scaring people. Even Dr. Snyder told me I worried him last Friday in class. I'm neglecting relationships and I'm neglecting myself.

I used to love going to meetings because I thought they made me sound important. Now I realize how meaningless they are. I mean, sure, sometimes we need collective planning time, but are weekly meetings for every organization really necessary? I'm starting to hate meetings.

I'm realizing just how many of the things I've thought were important aren't important at all. Grades, projects, business... sure those things demand attention, but they shouldn't require the loss of my sanity.

This weekend was just what I needed. I didn't touch my homework, but ignoring my studies in and of itself didn't grant me happiness. A friend came up to visit me, and his mere presence elevated my spirits beyond recognition. He made me feel cherished and worthy. He offered me a hand and lifted me out of the pit I'd dug myself into. People noticed. It was incredible.

Now I must return to my studies (sans typography), but this weekend was beyond therapeutic. I'm thankful for this time. I'm happy.

"I'm ambivalent. It's my new favorite word"

So I'm a hypocrite. I haven't blogged the last two days, not necessarily to spite Matt, but because I really haven't had anything edifying to talk about.

After a chance encounter with my friend Kelly, I'm starting to feel more normal. I'm so glad I ran into her! I told her about my random crying spells and she said she's been dealing with them, too, and has heard of other girls with the same problem. Maybe it's something in the air. Today in Typography I almost lost it when Bruce told us about his older brother John Robert who died in a "horrific car accident" at the age of two. It was Compassion International chapel all over again. Makes me feel pretty pathetic for being sad for no reason.

I've almost decided to drop typography. I'm feeling rather ambivalent about it, though. I love the class, but I also hate it. I love working on projects, just sitting there and making something with my hands. I like not having to think and write papers. I like not having to analyze arguments. I can just zone out and paint. Then I hate the class when Bruce lectures for the full two hours and I can't understand half the things he says. Sometimes, he'll just be talking to me from two feet away, one-on-one, and I still can't hear a word coming out of his mouth. Speak up, man! I also hate how much time I must spend on the projects. I can't just whip something up five minutes before class. I hate finishing a project and realizing how flawed it is and how I really should do it again but it's 3 a.m. and the project is due the next day. UGH!!! Should I stay or should I go?

And now for a random excerpt from Girl, Interrupted:

Susana: Should I stay or should I go?
Dr. Wick: Am I sane or am I crazy?
Susana: Those aren't courses of action.
Dr. Wick: They can be. For some.

I need to watch that movie.

Quote of the Day

And the quote of the day goes to Dr. Mark Cosgrove, my physiological psychology prof.

"It's a lot easier to punch someone and knock them out than to spend a lot of money to get people to vote for you."

The dreaded missionary barrel... The blackhole of English Hall

Someone put my slippers in the missionary barrel. Who does that? Margaret had been looking for her slippers and she found them in there along with mine.

I have a horrible habit of taking off my shoes in people's rooms/random suites and leaving them in there. I guess this time it caught up with me. But in all my years of leaving things in other people's space, this is the first time someone's tried to give my stuff to charity. On second thought, that could be what happened to my 2CE hoodie freshman year. :(