Johnny can't decide...

On the streets you hear the voices
Lost children, crocodiles
But you're not into
Making choices, wicked witches,
Poppy fields, or men behind the curtains,
Tiger lilies, ruby slippers
Clock is ticking, that's for certain
--from "30/90," tick, tick... BOOM

A few weeks ago, a psychology friend of mine asked if I was a minor (as in psych minor). I said, "No, I'm 21." Ahhahahaha.

Anyway, even though I'm technically not a kid anymore, I still think of myself as such. Let's face it, my inner-child is probably six-years-old. I dodge responsibility. I whine. I hide in corners. And I HATE making decisions.

It seems like every choice I have to make has undesireable consequences. I don't want to deal with those consequences, so I put off making a decision until the last minute. Not a very "adult" way to behave, huh? Oh well.

In a lot of ways, I see myself in the characters of Jonathan Larson's tick, tick... BOOM (which I have not seen, but I know the soundtrack). Just like Johnny, I can't decide... anything. Just like Susan, I long to get out of the rat race and settle down. Just like Michael, I've bartered my heart for survival.

I'm challenged by a line from The Journey of Desire where John Eldredge writes, "Do we reach for nothing in life because our reaching opens us up to tragedy?" I honestly don't know what to do with this question right now. As usual, Megan can't decide.