Get your kicks...

Shopping for shoes with a side of insanity? Look no further than your neighborhood Shoe Carnival.

I hadn't been in a Shoe Carnival in years, so when Cliff suggested we swing by the Green River location to get some new sneakers, I didn't think twice. I'd heard there was a sale there (buy one, get one half off) and I needed some new shoes for work (my 7th grade gym shoes that I'd been wearing were losing their soles). Besides, Cliff had a gift card he needed to use up, so after we stuffed ourselves with all the Fazoli's breadsticks we could stand, we headed over to the happiest shoe store on earth.

I should clarify that by "happiest" I mean "most psychotic." The minute we stepped in the door we were greeted by a creepy looking man in a bow tie standing atop a pedestal hawking promotions like an auctioneer. The music (70s/80s dance classics) was so loud I had to shout to hear myself think. The crowds, the deals... they just kept coming. I quickly located some adequate footware to meet my employer's dress code standards and plopped down in men's athletics while Cliff paced the aisle... first New Balance, then Asics. After much deliberation over comfort, style and affordability, he settled with the New Balance.

We at last escaped with our brand new kicks, a few dollars saved, and, believe it or not, our right minds. I even sported my new Sketchers at work today to the applause of many. Of course, this applause only came AFTER I pointed them out enthusiastically.