"The time for sleep is now"

They’re mocking me, I thought, as I turned the key in my Taurus’ ignition at 4:30 a.m. and that Death Cab line shot back at me. Yes, I agreed, 4:30 a.m. is the perfect time for sleep, but, hi-ho, off to work I go.

I suppose my latest posts have been indicative of my current situation… some rubbish about mowing grass… Last night I was made embarrassingly aware of the pathetic-ness of said situation when a coworker asked me what I’d been up to all week.

Working overtime, I responded. And I ran on the treadmill. And mowed grass.

Yeah.

Last week I worked somewhere in the vicinity of 50 hours at various Starbucks stores. I could definitely use the overtime pay, but the nonstop laboring left me feeling an all-too-familiar sensation: burnout.

My coworker’s question inspired a rather painful realization about how unbalanced my life has become, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid by taking this job in the first place. I gave up the “career track” because I craved balance in my personal, social, professional and spiritual lives. However, what I’ve achieved looks nothing like the scales supporting the duck and the “witch” in that one Monty Python movie.

I can’t say I want to get back into journalism right now. I mean, if I can’t balance working at a coffee shop with outside life, how on earth would I manage to be healthy whilst operating the all-consuming machine that is the news? I need to find a way to work with what I have now for as long as it is mine. Huh… lookie here… a lesson in stewardship.

I guess the place I need to start reclaiming that balance is in my spiritual life. As long as it’s confession time, I haven’t picked up a Bible since shortly after graduation. I started a Donald Miller book, but never made it past the second chapter. My prayer life has degenerated to “God, please help me fall asleep right now” or “Please keep [enter loved one’s name here] safe as [he/she] travels.” On Sunday, Pastor David (who recently returned from a 5-week pilgrimage to Colorado to reclaim his lost balance) emphasized the importance of praying as Jesus prayed… first for God’s Kingdom and Glory and eventually for my own needs. Oops.

So I think I’ll spend some time with God before bed tonight, though the time for sleep is fast approaching. Alas, I open again tomorrow and he who does not work does not eat (and I like to eat).