Friday, July 15, 2005

Michelle My Belle

In 1991, I breathed Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. It’s kind of sick to think how crazy I was about a Disney movie. I saw it in the theater four times. I had Beauty and the Beast clothes, dolls, school supplies, books, tapes, collectible figurines… it was my movie, my obsession. I’d wake up in the morning and flit down the stairs singing the opening song, “Bonjour.” I dreamed that I was Belle and wished with all my heart to be like her. She was strikingly beautiful and everyone noticed (even with brown eyes like mine). She wasn’t simply lovely on the outside, she had a beauty of character that made her little town step back in awe. I could relate to Belle, because even though she seemed to have it all together, she felt alone. “I want much more than this provincial life!” I didn’t know what “provincial” meant, but I longed for more in my life as well. I longed for adventure.

It’s been more than a decade since I’d discovered Beauty and the Beast. Most of the brand paraphernalia disappeared long ago. I forgot about Belle and my dream for “much more.” In the process of growing up, I shut down my desires and went along with the flow of life. Duty. Obligation. Work. Stress.

A few days ago, I received the Captivating Guided Journal in the mail. I was in a spiritual rut and had no idea how to get out. I’d tried reading the Bible, but I felt its words were closed off to me somehow. Nothing penetrated. Maybe a journal could help. As I filled in the pages, I felt God tugging on my heart to return to my love of Beauty and the Beast. I didn’t need to feel ashamed of it. God put the desire for fairy tales in everyone’s hearts. Different tales resonate with different people. Beauty and the Beast happens to be the one that most resonates with me.

I haven’t had to work this week, so with a lot of time on my hands, I dug through our old movies and recovered our tattered old VHS of the film. I popped it in the VCR and was again transfixed. My young heart rejoiced… and grieved and laughed and reminisced. Amid the classic children’s story, I discovered lessons long forgotten or never fully realized. Here is a glimpse of what I found:

For the past few months, God has been teaching me about the roles men and women were created to play (thank you, John and Stasi Eldredge and Cliff). A man is the image of a warrior God. A woman is the image of a beautiful/life-giving God. Bell and the Beast model these roles with striking clarity. At first, both are fallen. My current favorite scene in the movie is the wolf fight. It all starts out when Belle defiantly trespasses into the Beast’s West Wing. The two already hate each other, and Belle’s insubordination (a result of her sinful urge to control and dominate) enrages the Beast. The Beast lashes out in violent anger (a result of his own wounds), using his strength against her instead of for her. Belle flees the scene, although she’d made a commitment to stay. She’s frightened and probably ashamed that she incited such rage in the enchanted prince.

Ah, and then there’s redemption.

As Belle and her horse take off through the woods, wolves attack them. Belle tries to fight them off, but she is ill-suited for the task and it seems all hope is lost. Just in time, the Beast comes for her. He didn’t have to do it. He hated her. He had every right to be mad at her. Yet still he came and fought for her. And it was brilliant! In the end, he is victorious, but he is wounded. He offered his strength for a woman who was running away. What was her response? She didn’t have to stay. He’d scared her. He’d yelled at her. He’d thrown things at her. And yet, she nurtured him. Her cold, defiance melted away as she offered her beauty through her actions. It’s an incredible testament to the way men and women can inspire one another to be the image of God they were created to mirror. *sigh

That was the start of their relationship. They didn't wait until they loved one another perfectly to fight for and nurture one another. Instead they offered themselves, fallen as they were, and it brought about surprising results.

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