Psalm 55:4-8

"My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death assail me.
Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.
I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest-
I would flee far away and stay in the desert;
I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm."

More to pray about...

UPDATE: Click here for the most complete story so far.

Five people in a Taylor van were killed traveling southbound on I-69 in a collision with a semi near the Marion exit, according to IndyChannel.com. Four other van passengers and the semi driver were injured. Names have not been released. Pray.

A time to pray

Why God? It’s a fair question with which to begin. Why is my friend laying in a hospital ICU with her chest open? Why did her blood clot and stop the flow to her heart? Why did her heart stop beating?

So many questions. No real answers. And yet, I hope. God has already worked more miracles in this situation than I can even comprehend. Prayers have been sent up around the clock from around the world. We’re “not out of the woods yet,” but looking back on the blur that was yesterday, I can see God’s hand in everything.

“Blessed be Your name on a road marked with suffering,
Though there’s pain in the offering…
BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD”

Ben sent an update on Melissa just before noon today. Here it is:

All of the people here are very thankful for the prayers that everyone has been offering up throughout yesterday and the night. Melissa had a really good night, spent some time awake and responding to Brad, and her family. She has been in surgery already this morning, to re-bandage her gauze. Much to everyone's surprise the gauze was completely white. The bleeding is minimal, but the right side of her heart is still not working at all.

The main prayer request is this: The best case scenario is that in the next few weeks the right side of her heart will begin to function normally with her spending that time here in the ICU. The worst case scenario is that the heart does not recover, and it requires her to be on a heart transplant waiting list. The doctor mentioned she would be high on the list because of her health and age. Both families are doing noticeably
better, as they have realized the progress made in the last 24 hours. Melissa's mom is still asking for the continued prayer of everyone, as it has clearly been giving Melissa strength…

And now I shall make like KT Hesse and compile a brief list…

Things for which I thank God:

Heart surgeons
Timing
Friends with whom to cry
Cell phones
Helicopters
Taylor University
Ft. Wayne Lutheran Hospital
911
Hymnals
Prayer vigils
Prayer chapels
Coffee
Hospital volunteers
Sympathetic DC workers
Understanding professors
Due-date extensions
Excused absences
Make-up quizzes and tests
Coworkers to sub
Medical technology
Free pizza
Family
Love
Kleenex

Polygamy shmalygamy

Alison told me that, if I lived in Africa, I would not be a man’s first wife. I’d be his third.

“The third wife is for pleasure,” she said. To which Margaret responded:

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I’m so glad you’re drunk right now (on cough syrup).”

Weeping may last for the night...

“I’ve heard self-pity described as the super-glue of hell,” Alison said.

Last night, she, Janell and I went to Payne’s. We laughed so hard we disturbed the other patrons, we discussed the Irish with a British barista/custard maker, we deliberated on the essence of psychological disturbance and we defied the lure of Satan’s lies as we joined together in intercessory prayer.

It might have been one of the best nights of my semester.

Thinking about it now, tears prick at my eyes. Too often I neglect to be thankful for my friends. This semester has taken us in so many different directions. Some of that is probably our coping mechanism to detach from Taylor in order to alleviate the burden of graduation. In less than a month, we will scatter. Although throughout the summer we will reunite for abbreviated spurts as four of our friends marry off, things will never be the same. This is the way of life. Movement, mutation, isolation.

It’s so easy, in light of such experience, to construct a bed of despair, recline and weep. I ache over inevitable exits, over broken friendships that may never be reconciled. Grief is good. There is a time to grieve; but there is also a time to rise from sackcloth and ash, to claim of the life offered me, to rejoice!

Josh Garrells sings, “In this world you will have trouble, but Jesus overcame the world.” Until we start living that Truth, self-pity is our only option. And like Alison so aptly stated, the cost of that option is far too great.

So what do we do with the grief we feel as a consequence to breathing in a world marred by brokenness? The solution begins with catharsis, with identifying our wounds and feeling them without reservation; but it cannot remain there. Soon we must move beyond awareness to actively seek healing for these wounds. In this way, we abandon self-pity.

Throughout the Bible, we see God healing people’s infirmities. He still offers that today, even if our only wounds are emotional in nature. It’s a continuous process that will never be perfected until we enter heaven, but we can begin to experience some degree of restoration even now. We cannot do it on our own, but it is our responsibility to choose to seek his will and experience the completeness we will only feel from him.

The tears may fall, the heart my wretch, but I will praise you, My LORD and Creator, for it is in you that I may find peace when I earnestly seek (and even sometimes when I don’t).

"We're gonna take this lying down"

The so-called Lord’s Resistance Army has abducted over 30,000 Ugandan children and brainwashed them to kill their own people. Rebel violence has displaced 2 million Northern Ugandans. This war has been waging for the last 18-years. Why haven’t I heard anything about this?

It seems I’m not alone in my ignorance. According to invisiblechildren.com, the Northern Ugandan situation has been called the “worst humanitarian crisis in the world today because of the lack of attention.” It’s time to spread some awareness.

Every night, more than 40,000 children commute on foot into Northern Ugandan cities to sleep together in public places (hospitals, bus depots…). Huddled tightly together, these children seek refuge from the threat of abduction they'd face if they remained in their own homes. This “solution” exposes the children to a number of other horrors (experimental sex, peer aggression, etc.) they may have avoided at home, but the risk of rebel capture is too great. These children are doing the best they can.

On Saturday, April 29, my Taylor friends and I will venture to Indianapolis to take part in the Global Night Commute, a nationwide demonstration occurring in 130 cities. We will join other Hoosiers for a mass sleep-in at Monument Circle from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. Please join us if you live in the Indy area OR if you want to make a road trip out of it. Like I said, there are 130 US cities participating in the GNC, so find one near you at http://www.invisiblechildren.com/. Be sure to register on the site to make your commitment count. One April night is really not so much of a sacrifice when you consider the suffering the Northern Ugandan children endure every night. I hope you’ll consider taking a stand to shed some light on these “invisible children.”

And one to grow on...

Kids say the darndest things. I found the above illustration within a birthday card from my 6-year-old cousin, Michaela (seen below).



Don’t let the adorable face fool you. This kid is DEVIOUS. But she’s fun. :)

Grease monkey

I changed the oil and filter in my car the other day (under the instruction of my Grandpa). I am officially a pro. ;)

"I'm lucky to know you"

My roommate is an artist. A real artist. Everything she does astonishes me. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to overflow with creativity the way she does. Now she’s included me in her most recent artwork. I’ve never felt so honored.

It’s a deeply emotive piece depicting human trafficking. Four women (of which I am one) have climbed out of a boiling pot of water and are standing on the edge about to jump off. Below them, a malevolent man with an outstretched hand waits to catch them as they fall. The other two pieces depict me being dropped from his hand and being flicked across the globe. I wish I could show them on here, but I don’t even know if that’s legal. My words certainly do not do justice to her concept.

I’m passionate about stories. It’s incredible to me that I’ve been given the opportunity to lend my body to the telling of such an important and tragic one. That’s why I wish I could attend Mars Hill Graduate School. Its philosophy is tied up in the essence of stories, art, text, experience. Unfortunately, there’s no way I could afford such an education after Taylor, but hopefully I can find a way to create my own Mars Hill wherever I end up. A community built on story. That’s what I want.

"Everyday is exactly the same..."

I’ve been fairly uninspired as of late. I’m not particularly sure why. I’ve gotten a lot busier lately. I think I have five weeks of classes left in my undergraduate career. I’m doing my best to enjoy these last few moments while maintaining my academics and looking for jobs. It’s an interesting/stressful season.

This past weekend was perfect. My Irish Studies friends and I trekked out to Pennsylvania (9 hours each way) for Ann’s wedding. It was an absolutely beautiful ceremony, definitely worthy of the bride. All the ISPers had an amazing time breaking it down on the dance floor. I’m so thankful we all got to go.

As for impending after-grad plans, I now have an Indianapolis roommate. Now I just need to get a job or get accepted to grad school. Of course, I wouldn’t be surprised if May finds me with entirely new plans. They’ve mutated so many times already.

Can someone musical explain “heterophony” to me? I have a presentation to give next week and I have no idea what that term means. Oh joy.

And I love NIN. That's all.

Under the sun

Laci says there's a time for everything, so right now it's PENNSYLVANIA ISP WEDDING ROADTRIP TIME!!! :)

Ba-da ba-ba-ba I'm lovin' it

CARDINALS BASEBALL IS BACK!!! Yay Red Birds!

Also, you should watch The McPassion. It's HILARIOUS (and very irreverent). But it's only online until Easter, so get it while it's hot!