"I'm ambivalent. It's my new favorite word"

So I'm a hypocrite. I haven't blogged the last two days, not necessarily to spite Matt, but because I really haven't had anything edifying to talk about.

After a chance encounter with my friend Kelly, I'm starting to feel more normal. I'm so glad I ran into her! I told her about my random crying spells and she said she's been dealing with them, too, and has heard of other girls with the same problem. Maybe it's something in the air. Today in Typography I almost lost it when Bruce told us about his older brother John Robert who died in a "horrific car accident" at the age of two. It was Compassion International chapel all over again. Makes me feel pretty pathetic for being sad for no reason.

I've almost decided to drop typography. I'm feeling rather ambivalent about it, though. I love the class, but I also hate it. I love working on projects, just sitting there and making something with my hands. I like not having to think and write papers. I like not having to analyze arguments. I can just zone out and paint. Then I hate the class when Bruce lectures for the full two hours and I can't understand half the things he says. Sometimes, he'll just be talking to me from two feet away, one-on-one, and I still can't hear a word coming out of his mouth. Speak up, man! I also hate how much time I must spend on the projects. I can't just whip something up five minutes before class. I hate finishing a project and realizing how flawed it is and how I really should do it again but it's 3 a.m. and the project is due the next day. UGH!!! Should I stay or should I go?

And now for a random excerpt from Girl, Interrupted:

Susana: Should I stay or should I go?
Dr. Wick: Am I sane or am I crazy?
Susana: Those aren't courses of action.
Dr. Wick: They can be. For some.

I need to watch that movie.

Quote of the Day

And the quote of the day goes to Dr. Mark Cosgrove, my physiological psychology prof.

"It's a lot easier to punch someone and knock them out than to spend a lot of money to get people to vote for you."

The dreaded missionary barrel... The blackhole of English Hall

Someone put my slippers in the missionary barrel. Who does that? Margaret had been looking for her slippers and she found them in there along with mine.

I have a horrible habit of taking off my shoes in people's rooms/random suites and leaving them in there. I guess this time it caught up with me. But in all my years of leaving things in other people's space, this is the first time someone's tried to give my stuff to charity. On second thought, that could be what happened to my 2CE hoodie freshman year. :(

Sunday Morning= Vacation

Last night I was talking to Emily in the DC and she asked me what it would be like if I just didn't do any work for an entire day. At first, this sounded crazy to my workaholic ears, but the more I thought about it, the more possible it seemed.

This morning at MAC, I realized anew how much I love being in that church. I'm a half hour away from all my school stuff and I can truly focus on worshipping my God. I can't even picture sleeping in on Sunday mornings like I used to all freshman year. I truly find rest when I'm at MAC.

There were all these international delegates in the service this morning. They talked about this impromptu worship session they'd had last night at Guy and Judy's where they all sang for a solid hour in their own languages. It made me long for China again (although I've been longing for China all week anyway).

At MAC, I'm starting to understand what the true body of Christ looks like. I'm also starting to see what eternity looks like and I'm not so afraid anymore.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

-- "It is Well with my Soul"

Childhood as a psychological disorder

While "working" in the Writing Center today, I flipped through my Abnormal Psychology textbook and an article caught me eye called "The Etiology and Treatment of Childhood" by Jordan W. Smoller. It's rather hilarious, identifying childhood as a "syndrome" marked by such symptoms as dwarfism, knowledge deficits and legume anorexia. Hahaha. Ok, I gotta get back to studying real abnormal psychology.

Biting the hand that feeds me

There's just no way around it. The Grille is a terrible, horrible institution and it's going down!

For those of you unfamiliar with Taylor University's meal options, we have two major centers of food distribution on campus. The Dining Commons (more commonly known as the DC) is where everyone eats every meal of every day. We also have The Grille which provides sustenance to seniors and people who can't make it out to the DC during regular meal hours. It's considered a special treat to eat at The Grille, although I don't know why; their food is nasty and greasy and always makes me sick.

I have a Grille transfer for Tuesdays and Thursdays because I have class and work through my lunch hour. I usually get my food, wolf down the main course and stick the rest in my office for later. I hadn't bothered to order a sack lunch because each time I've been to the Grille so far this semester, I've gotten through fine with the regular meal. So today when Shaun let us out of Digital Tools 20 minutes early, I rejoiced at the prospect of enjoying my lunch before I went to work at 1 p.m. in the library (No food allowed. They're fascist). I was pretty hungry by 12:40, since I'd slept through breakfast while I was dying of nasal drainage.

I got to the Union, grabbed a pizza, yogurt and a caramel apple, and headed for check out. But NO... Martha stopped me right there. She said, "The line doesn't open until 12:50." It was 12:45! Nevermind that I'd been through this line every Tuesday/Thursday for the past three weeks without problem. Sometimes, I even went between my 11:00 and my 12:00 and got away with a meal. But five minutes??? Give me a break.

So I waited. I verbally railed against the system, but I waited. When I at last made off with my lunch, I stuffed the entire pizza in my mouth and stashed the rest of the food in the Echo office on my way to the library.

The whole point in having Grille transfers is to feed students who don't have time. Then they make us wait! I don't even like the Grille. I didn't want to miss lunch in the DC on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but there was nothing I could do with my schedule. Meal transfers are just not worth the trouble they cause.

The demise of Handy Andy

Handy Andy is gone. In it's place we find a red-roofed imitation called Circle K. Let the tears stream down. Don't be ashamed.

While the only things that really changed were the roof (which used to be blue) and the name, it feels like a void exists where there once was none. Sure, the Circle K will operate in much the same way as Handy Andy, offering breadsticks, soda, coffee and donuts at all hours of the day and night, but that's not the point. We won't be able to go on "Handy Andy runs" anymore. We'll have to go on "Circle K runs." That's not right.

Of course we'll still call it Handy Andy. No amount of red paint can change that fact. Like a triumphant warrior rising from the fall, Handy Andy will survive, if only in the hearts and minds of TU students.