"I'm ambivalent. It's my new favorite word"

So I'm a hypocrite. I haven't blogged the last two days, not necessarily to spite Matt, but because I really haven't had anything edifying to talk about.

After a chance encounter with my friend Kelly, I'm starting to feel more normal. I'm so glad I ran into her! I told her about my random crying spells and she said she's been dealing with them, too, and has heard of other girls with the same problem. Maybe it's something in the air. Today in Typography I almost lost it when Bruce told us about his older brother John Robert who died in a "horrific car accident" at the age of two. It was Compassion International chapel all over again. Makes me feel pretty pathetic for being sad for no reason.

I've almost decided to drop typography. I'm feeling rather ambivalent about it, though. I love the class, but I also hate it. I love working on projects, just sitting there and making something with my hands. I like not having to think and write papers. I like not having to analyze arguments. I can just zone out and paint. Then I hate the class when Bruce lectures for the full two hours and I can't understand half the things he says. Sometimes, he'll just be talking to me from two feet away, one-on-one, and I still can't hear a word coming out of his mouth. Speak up, man! I also hate how much time I must spend on the projects. I can't just whip something up five minutes before class. I hate finishing a project and realizing how flawed it is and how I really should do it again but it's 3 a.m. and the project is due the next day. UGH!!! Should I stay or should I go?

And now for a random excerpt from Girl, Interrupted:

Susana: Should I stay or should I go?
Dr. Wick: Am I sane or am I crazy?
Susana: Those aren't courses of action.
Dr. Wick: They can be. For some.

I need to watch that movie.