Maybe I'm lovable.

Ok, so this is pretty basic theology, but for the past seven-plus years, this fact has eluded me. It wasn't until today amid the primal roar of yelling Sammy boys that the essential truth of God's love finally clicked for me.

Jay Kesler, our beloved former president, spoke in chapel this morning. Usually, I enjoy his sermons but they're so random, I don't really follow them. Today his message rang true to the core of my being. What a rush!

The topic was love and community. Kesler extracted 5 steps to achieving community through love from the biblical writings of John. First, we realize God loves us, that He initiated this love, that the love is unconditional and that it becomes real when we reciprocate. In the second step, we receive his love, realizing that we are worth loving.

I haven't been able to surmount the third step. It requires me to accept myself. If God loves me then maybe I'm lovable. It's not rocket science, but for some reason I've been denying this truth and when I dog on myself, I'm not being humble; I'm spitting in God's face.

Jay pointed out the opposite of humility is bad, but the opposite of shame is good. I don't need to live in shame any more. I'm free to love and accept myself. Only then will I be able to love others.

The fourth step is to love others. I never put much stock in Roger's comment from Rent when he tells Mimi, "You'll never share real love until you love yourself." Suddenly I'm realizing it's true. The Bible commands me to love my neighbor as myself. As Jay said, if I hate myself, that's bad news for my neighbor!

I will only find community after I ascend these last two steps. It's not going to be easy to undo the mindset I've perpetuated by negative thoughts, but I have a powerful ally who loves me more than I could ever imagine. I am going to believe that I'm lovable because God said it.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

-- 1 John 3:1a