Warning: Under Construction

D.C. is constantly under construction. It's always improving upon itself, putting up plywood barriers to guard against the curious public's gaze until the glorious unveiling. Every election year, for sale signs pop up around the city to make way for a new ruling party. The city never stays the same. Something must always be changing.

In this way, I'm a lot like D.C. Just when I think I've reached the end, the pinnacle, I realize I've barely begun my journey.

I got my first B in six years today. Well, it's a B+, but it might as well have been an F. I know it doesn't matter; this is a pass/fail course, but I can't help but let it get me down.

All this time I've been stressing excellence, pushing myself, believing the just a little more work and I'd be done, out there, employable. Instead, I'm told I've "got potential" which is just a nice way of saying I have no idea what I'm doing.

So I'm sitting cross-legged in this little seat as Terry's ripping into me about how negative I am and all of a sudden I couldn't take it anymore. I told him how I could never tell him anything because he's always so critical. He said I must not have listened to anything he said after week two because he was always nice after that. Bollux! I wrote that angry blog on week three! We started talking about why I might be negative and that led to the hellish conclusion of last semester. And he's just sitting there, all pious with his nasty beard, saying that he didn't know my uncle died. That's crap, too. Everyone knew about Uncle Curt the first week when we were sharing prayer requests. Urg... All I can say is, don't act like you care when you so obviously don't.

I walked down to the Lincoln Memorial to clear my head. It's so hot outside I thought I'd throw up. Lincoln wasn't much help. He may have kept the Union together, but he couldn't do much for the sorry state of my fragmented life.

My 5-year-old cousin Sam asked me last night when I was going to go to my home and stay there. I told him it wouldn't be for another few years. I'm thinking maybe never. I just can't see myself pinned to one place.

Tomorrow is my last day in D.C. I just hope it's not anything like today.