I know I'm late on this one, but I must admit I'd held off on viewing last spring's TU cult classic Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind until last night.
Before last weekend, I would have loved this movie without knowing why. I've always paraded around as a deep movie watcher. I'm not. I never have been. There are very few movies that I've actually examined to understand why I love/hate them. Usually, I just say, "Wow. That movie made me think," and let everyone believe that I was still thinking when I'd really moved on to other stuff.
But last weekend, I realized just how dangerous such an attitude can be. On Tuesday at dinner, Emily was analyzing movies, unveiling what they were actually saying beyond the happy characters and romantic moments. I decided to try my newly discovered analyzing skills on this one. Bear with me... I am a novice.
The Good:
There are several aspects of the movie that indeed ring true. First, I'll examine those.
Clementine warned Joel at the onset of their relationship, "I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a [messed] up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours."
While relationships should involve unity of purpose (see Boundless), no person can complete you or make you come alive. Only God can do that. Of course, Clementine doesn't reach that conclusion, leaving Joel to say later, "I still thought you were going to save me. Even after that."
The most truthful exchange in the show comes at the end:
Joel: I don't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Okay.
The denial of this fact is the foundation of the divorce culture. People believe love is a feeling when in reality it's a choice, a choice which must be made daily. In Generation Ex, Jen Abbas writes:
No doubt about it, humans are a flawed group. We fail to live up to our own lofty experiences every day. Does that mean we should quit trying? Of course not! The athlete doesn't quit practicing in the midst of pain. He keeps at it because the goal of winning offers more satisfaction than any relief from his present discomfort. A mountain climber is not satisfied with attempting to climb Mount Everest. The pleasure comes with reaching the summit. No one who's been married will tell you that the union is easy, but any couple who has celebrated a fiftieth anniversary will testify that the sum of the ebb and flow of marital satisfaction is far more fulfilling than the strain of any particular incident. In fact, it's often through the trials, one might argue, that a marriage is strengthened. Few things are more deeply satisfying than accomplishing that which was thought impossible.
The Bad/Ugly:
So many movies act like infidelity is okay. Eternal Sunshine is no different. Joel leaves Naomi to be with Clementine. There are zero consequences. Dr. Mierzwiak's infidelity with secretary Mary does reveal a little consequence through his wife's hopeless tears and Mary's vindictive actions against the company, but more damage was done than that. He mentions he has children, yet nothing is said of their pain. How typical. Even the movies teach us to ignore the most innocent victims of divorce/adultry.
In actuality, Joel and Clementine have a pretty hopeless relationship. There is no real committment, and yet they've given themselves completely to each other. Joel does not fight for Clementine's heart (although the moment when he tells her she's pretty is beautiful) and Clementine never reinforces Joel's strength. No wonder they chose to forget.
The Conclusion:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind made me think. No, seriously, I was expecting to like it more, but I felt the same sense of emptiness I got at the end of Garden State. I've heard this movie praised for its realistic portrayal of human relationships, but when I break it down, I see just how Hollywood this movie still was. I hope I have more to look forward to than this movie offers.
2 comments:
I appreciate you comments about the movie. I watched it the night after the Airband Echo... not the best time to watch this movie.
You mean, you watched this movie at 5 a.m. or on the following Friday night? Did you fall asleep? It's not an entirely stimulating movie... I'd think it would be easy to drift off.
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