All I ever have to be

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
have all bee nicely said,
I'm still hurting,
Wondering if I'll ever be the one I think I am.
I think I am.

Then you gently re-remind me
That you made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best,
the more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me is only there because of who you are.
Who you are.

And all I ever have to be is what you made me.
Any more or less would be a step out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me help me always keep in mind
that I only have to do what I can find
and all I ever have to be,
all I have to be,
all I ever have to be
Is what you made me.

I used to love Amy Grant. It was the music of my childhood. It disgusted me to hear of her infidelity and divorce. Last Thanksgiving I even watched a news feature on the ordeal whilst playing Scrabble with my dad and stepmom. How fitting.

I hated Amy Grant. I hated her for standing up for infidelity. I hated her for staining her image. I hated her for being too human, too much like my dad.

Despite my aversion to Ms. Grant, I always find myself comforted amidst my deepest despairs by her song, "All I ever have to be." It hits at the heart of all I am. It gives me the hope of a new tomorrow and a Father's grace.

I know Amy Grant is human and doesn't deserve my hate. I think she could be a little more apologetic when it comes to all the people she hurt, but let's be honest, I don't know all the facts.

Why can't those words in which I find such comfort apply to the very woman who first sang them? I need to get beyond this idolatry of Amy Grant. She is human, just as I am. All she ever has to be is what God made her. She is only accountable to Him, whether I like it or not.